Amazing no matter how extraordinary our life has been, most of it was ordinary. Most of it was just getting up cleaning the teeth, putting on our day face and going out into the world. Even with the most incredible difficulties we faced, most of it was ordinary. Whether we were pushing through a period of depression a personal dilemma or major catastrophe, most of it was ordinary. The ordinary moments of stopping to eat, going to the toilet, most of it was ordinary. And you know, somewhere there is a very strong part of us that wants for it to be just that way.
As an example, I have been struggling with a cold for the past week or so, nothing too bad, just that dull head and the runny nose. After all this is winter, and in winter we often keep the same push going to keep on top of our work and life even though the seasons are telling us to slow down, cuddle up more, sleep in and go to bed with the sun. But the major job at work has had my nose to the grindstone, my desire to write and perform more has had me going out most nights and the wonderful social part of me has pushed me to use up the rest of the spare time.
So on Friday when a colleague asked how I was and I told her I was light-headed? I still took no stock of what my body craved – something ordinary. A time to sit and relax breathe in the fresh air. I did notice though that when I finally got to the doctors (on Monday) and she asked how I was as I entered the door. That my immediate response was “Not, too bad!” When in fact I was suffering excruciating pain.
I did need some time off, a day and a half, then I followed my standard method to get over this pain. Build a wall, get over it!. Maybe this doesn’t work for everyone, and I will admit to slowing down a little. But I think the biggest allowance I made was to forgive myself. Forgive myself for not ALWAYS being on top. Forgive myself for not making EVERY commitment. Forgive myself for leaving the bed ‘airing.’
Strangely the space has allowed me time to reconnect with writing and reading, the book kind, not the online email, not the catch up with on friends blogs or even my own blog kind. Interesting what that does to your site traffic.
I have been lucky
If you have got this far – please come back – I am currently using this post as a teaching assignment on “Blogging for Bliss” the title stolen from Tara Frey’s wonderful book of the same name
This is just one of the wonderful workshops available from my website and in conjunction with the Kurilpa Poets